English: Lubok-style cover of a Russian dream book. The book is solemnly named The Dream-Book, or an Interpretation of Dreams by Sundry Egyptian and Indian Savants and Astronomers. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I thought, since I’m tired but I still have a little energy from work, I would interpret some of these bad dreams I’ve been having. I’m not going to do the one I talked about on the 27th of last month, but I will talk about the one’s I’ve posted from the 2nd to yesterday (the 6th). That’s three bad dreams that I will be interpreting tonight. I hope this goes well. I have a feeling I’ll be airing out some dirty laundry on this one, but that’s just how dreams go, isn’t it?
I’ll be using http://dreemmoods.com/ This is a fantastic site for dream interpretation (the best one I’ve found so far, as a matter of fact). I use dreemmoods.com because it uses their old layout. I feel like it’s easier to navigate. There is also the new version which is dreammoods.com. It’s just as good. I HIGHLY recommend them.
July 2nd – “Violent Dream”
In this post, I wrote this about my dream:
“I was dreaming that I was part of some kind of extreme game show, the kind that you have to do activities out in the world for points and the one with the fewest points each week had to leave. Well, for some reason, one of the challenges was out on some deserted sandy beach on the edge of a desert. It was me, some sort of koala and one of those inflatable wavy arm men. Yeah, I know, weird choice for contestants. Well, the challenge was to make one other person from this group play the specific song they wanted. So we’re all grappling, holding keyboards and trying to literally force the other to play the song. Well, the huge inflatable arm man, who was blue and white striped and wearing a plain sombrero, picked up a knife from off the ground. I saw this and didn’t even have time to blink before he stabbed me through the head and used the end of the knife out the back of the keyboard to play the keyboard”.
Game Show: “To dream that you are on a game show suggests that you need to change some aspect of your life around. You may be experiencing feelings of uncertainty and what the future may hold. Consider the type of game show or the name of the game show. What are you playing for and what is its significance relative to your waking life”.
This was pretty physical and apparently anything goes game show. I don’t know what was at stake. Maybe the point is that I need to look at what’s going on with the people around me. It might be time for a change in that department. I’ll keep going here, maybe the clues are in the details.
Beach: “To see the beach in your dream symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual”.
Maybe instead of this being about the people in my life, maybe this has more to do with how I’m handling the competitive nature of the world in my own life…. Which isn’t well. I never feel like I’m good enough for anything.
Koala: “To see a koala in your dream represents your link the physical world, the subconscious, and the spiritual realm. The koala also symbolizes security, nurturance, protection, and/or feminine qualities. You may be expressing a desire to regress back into infantile dependence and escape from your daily responsibilities/problems”.
I can’t find anything about the inflatable arm man, so I’m going to look into his features, like the sombrero and the blue and white stripes:
Sombrero: Nothing
Blue: “Blue represents truth, wisdom, heaven, eternity, devotion, tranquility, loyalty and openness. Perhaps you are expressing a desire to get away. The presence of this color in your dream may symbolize your spiritual guide and your optimism of the future. You have clarity of mind. Alternatively, the color blue may also be a metaphor for “being blue” and feeling sad”.
White: “White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. Alternatively, white refers to a clean, blank slate. Or it may refer to a cover-up”.
Stripes: “To see stripes in your dream suggest that you are making a bold and daring statement. Horizontal stripes represent your directness and straightforwardness, while vertical stripes indicate that you are a non-conformist”.
I guess I’m a non-conformist. That’s good to know. Thanks dream! Apparently the Koala and the crazy inflatable tube man represent good things, unless the blue meant that he was sadness. It would make sense if he was perfection and sadness, because he killed me in my dream. That inflatable jerk! Am I battling forces that are meant to be good, but I’m not seeing them that way?
Desert: “To dream that you are walking through a desert signifies loss and misfortune. You may be suffering from an attack on your reputation. Deserts are also symbolic of barrenness, loneliness and feelings of isolation and hopelessness. The desert landscape may also be a metaphor for feeling deserted and left behind”.
That kind of speaks for its self.
Keyboard: “To see or play a musical keyboard in your dream represents harmony. Your life is well-balanced”.
That makes sense, we’re battling for harmony. Sadness kind of won in that dream,…
Knife: “To dream that you are wounded by a knife is symbolic of masculine or animalistic aggression” AND “To see someone holding a knife in your dream suggests that you lack control or power in a situation or relationship. Alternatively, the person holding a knife in your dream may be symbolic of a dominant male figure in your waking life”.
The only inflatable man in my life is the red one outside the mattress place next to the theater I work at. Maybe the inflatable man represents work. That might make sense. The white would be perfection, which is what my job was before I was forced into becoming a concessionist. The blue might represent sadness, and being a concessionist is terrible sometimes. I really dread going in on days that I have to serve popcorn. Work is killing my happiness. That’s what work does. I’m struggling against my daily responsibilities and work. Work wins. KO.
Stabbed: “To dream that you have been stabbed signifies your struggle with power. You are experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness”.
I’ve figured it out! That awful dream was about my daily struggle with what needs to get down in my life and the pressures work is putting on me. I feel lonely and somewhat hopeless because of the situations I’m in. I feel like I’m failing at everything, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Clearly, work is the biggest force behind the struggle because it stabs me through the head (I need that) and plays a song on that keyboard, giving the sound of harmony, but it isn’t real harmony. It’s a struggle between what’s good for me, what I need to do in my non-work related life, and work itself. That makes sense. That dream still weirds me out though.
July 3rd – “Another Bad Dream”
The dream I wrote about that day went like this:
“In any case, my bad dream had to do with a stalker or hunter of sorts. At first, it was just me living life. It was stressful, just like mine is right now. I would listen to a lot of music and find myself singing or dancing by myself when I was alone. I felt like I was being watched sometimes, but I ignored it. It’s natural for me to ignore that feeling at times. I feel like I’m being watched a lot at work. I’ve lived places where that feeling is almost constant. I’ve learned to put it to the back of my mind, and I did so in this dream.
Later, the dream took a turn. One night, I was looking through the videos on my mp3 player, and found videos of myself. My eyes would be closed in some. There was one of me swinging on swing with my eyes closed and I was singing to myself. The camera got pretty close a few times, and I remembered that day. I thought the mp3 player was in my pocket the whole time and I didn’t take the video. There was also one of me dancing while I was fixing something in the garage. The video seemed to be shot from around the corner. It freaked me out considerably, and I confided in my best friend (who is actually my best friend in real life).
At some point, we decided to attend a sleep-over for the company of others. These weren’t people who I know actually know. Throughout the night, I kept stumbling across things that seemed to be serious threats on my life. I would find stuffed animals hanging by the neck with pink string. I found a few poorly assembled dream catchers with things I own dangling from them. I would find ripped clothes and my things would look as if they had been gone through. I thought the camera person and the person doing this was the same person. I stayed close to my group of friends, all girls (odd for me) and they tried to console me. We slept in a huge pile in the living room. Lindsay and I were on the outside edge and Lindsay made sure I was the closest to the group so that we could watch out for this person. For some reason, bubbles were eventually pulled out and everyone started blowing bubbles. They would sparkle as they popped, and it was kind of fun until we heard a noise outside. We all went to check it out, and it was my dad (but not my real dad, just a dream dad) trashing my car (that I don’t have in real life). He was tearing things up and throwing them. My mom (but a fictional mom) ran up and told me that Dad was having another hunter spell and she called some the police to come get him. After that, she called my brother (again, not a real brother of mine) and told him to watch his back, just in case.
When he was taken away, and my group and I tried to settle in for the night, I was wondering why he didn’t attack me if he was going through this hunter spell but still recording me with my mp3 player. That’s when I realized that his hunter spell started that night and the camera person was someone else. I started thinking about that feeling of always being watched, and realized that I felt it while I was laying there. I woke up as I started looking around from where I was laying on the floor”.
Watching (the context of someone watching me): “To dream that you are being watched suggests that you are feeling confined in your work environment or personal relationship. You are lacking privacy and feel you are being scrutinized or criticized”.
I guess maybe I do feel like I’m being criticized a lot. That’s normal though, isn’t it? That’s part of life when you’re in stressful situations.
Swing: “To dream that you are on a swing suggests that you are experiencing great satisfaction and freedom in your waking life. It also symbolizes cycles and movement”.
I guess this makes sense. I feel like I’m criticized for everything, even just being myself. In this context where I’m being taped while just enjoying myself, it shows that I feel like just being myself isn’t good enough.
Singing: “To sing in your dream represents happiness, harmony and joy in some situation or relationship. You are uplifting others with your positive attitude and cheerful disposition. Singing is a way to celebrate, communicate, embrace and express your feelings”.
Dance: “To dream that you are dancing signifies freedom from any constraints and restrictions. Your life is in balance and in harmony. Dancing also represents frivolity, happiness, gracefulness, sensuality and sexual desires. You need to incorporate these qualities in your waking life”.
This all just ties into what I said about the fact that I don’t feel like I’m good enough, even when I’m just being me (and happy, no less). Truth be told, I haven’t been happy in a while though. I wish I could change that.
Garage: “To dream that you are in a garage signifies a period of inactivity and idleness in your life. You feel that you are lacking direction or guidance in achieving your goals”.
This could mean that I feel like the idle youth period is cause for scrutiny.
Friends: “To see friends in your dream signify aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Alternatively, dreaming of a friend indicates positive news”.
I guess this is my need to be part of someone’s life or part of a group that I’ve all but rejected. I think I’ve covered that I feel pretty lonely quite often. Maybe they’re supposed to represent acceptance, warmth, and a loving atmosphere. Those aren’t really things I’ve acknowledged lately.
Stuffed Animal: “A stuffed animal may also mean security, love, comfort, support and unconditional or unquestioned love”.
Blanket: “To see a blanket in your dream symbolizes warmth, love, security and protection”
Dreamcatcher: “To see a dreamcatcher in your dream indicates that you are putting up a wall or barrier against the negativity in your life. Perhaps there is something in your subconscious that you are trying to prevent from emerging”.
Considering I would see blankets and stuffed animals hanging from the dreamcatchers, this might mean that I have old, ratty barriers up around me that keep love, comfort, support, and security out.
Clothes: “To dream of your clothes is symbolic of your public self and how you are perceived. It is indicative of the act you put on in front of others. Clothes are also an indication of your condition and status in life. Thus, if you wear clothes that do not suit you or that you normally would not wear, then it suggests that you are putting up a front and trying to deceive others. Something in your life is “unsuitable”. It may be a symbol of hypocrisy and being someone that you are not”.
The clothes in my dream were all ripped up, so maybe this is a symbol of the fact that I don’t let my real self out. I’m holding myself back.
Bubble: “To see bubbles in your dream represent merriment, fun, and childhood joys. It may also symbolize wishes or unrealistic expectations. In deciphering this dream symbol, consider also the phrase of having your bubble burst and the resulting disappointment”.
Here’s the thing, the bubbles would sparkle when they popped. They were lovely and they made me very happy. I think they definitely represent merriment, fun , and childish joy.
Car: “To dream that your car has been stolen indicates that you are being stripped of your identity. This may relate to losing your job, a failed relationship, or some situation which has played a significant role in your identity and who you are as a person”.
I couldn’t find anything about someone tearing up the interior of the car, so I thought this work. Maybe I feel like I’ve failed my relationship with my father, which is why there was a fictional father there. Maybe I feel like my identity is ripped apart. Those all sound about right to me.
Father: “To see your father in your dream symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant. Consider also your waking relationship with your father and how aspects of his character may be incorporated within yourself”.
This guy didn’t look a thing like my real father. Maybe that means that I’m not seeing the people around me for who they really are. Maybe he was a crazy man in this dream because I don’t see him in a positive light all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Dad, but we’re not close. I don’t feel like he’s ripping apart my identity though. It’s possible that the fact that I’m not close with him is part of what’s bothering me on that front. I don’t know why my mom in the dream wasn’t actually my mom though.
Mother: “To see your mother in your dream represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development”.
I’m just going to leave my opinions here blank so that I don’t potentially hurt my mom with speculation.
Brother: “If you do not have a brother and dream that you have one, then he may symbolize characteristics that you need to acknowledge within yourself”.
I have brothers, three of them in fact, but this dream-brother wasn’t any of them, so I went with that meaning. He was awfully scared where I was just freaked out and dumbfounded. Maybe I should be worrying more about my life like he did, cherish it more.
Here we are then! The dream was basically about how I feel oppressed within myself and within society. I don’t allow myself things that would make me happy, like love, acceptance, security, or comfort. I’m very hard on myself and I don’t value my own life as much as I should. I also feel like I’m not connected with my real family, and I don’t feel like I get proficient love and support from them either. Typing that out sounds silly, because I know they love me, in their own way. I know there are times when I’m really depressed and I feel like no one loves me at all. Maybe that night was just one of those nights. Those night happen a lot more than I really should admit. It’s been worse now that I’ve been stressed about everything and I’ve been unable to get anything done. I just feel worthless and awful. I’m way too hard on myself sometimes, I guess. It’s hard to back off that train of thought once I’m on it though. I feel like no one would like who I really am, and I feel like no one likes me now, as I am.
July 6th – “The Bad Dreams Persist”
This was a weird dream from last night. I actually told a friend a little bit about this dream. He told me that I have a lot of imagination. My sub-conscience is good about that, I guess. This is what I wrote when it comes to the dream:
“The dream started out with me working in an office. I was filing things and I noticed a disassembled clock on the wall. I remembered that I took the face and some of the cogs out so it wouldn’t work. A bald man with a thin frame, wearing a black turtle neck and long black slacks came into the room and left. He was soon followed by a German Shepherd. I love German Shepherds, by the way. They came in one door and left through another. Some guy I apparently worked with came in and I got a random headache. I put my hand to my head and the cogs on the dissembled clock started to turn.
Casually, the guy says to me, “You have the virus huh? You’re turning into one of them.”
I instantly know what he means. I nod and tell him that I’m working on it. What he means is that I’m turning into one of the things that that bald man is. They were once human, but they caught a virus, and now all they seem to think about it calculated violence. How can they destroy something quickly, efficiently, and with plenty of violence, was their objective. They seemed to take orders from some higher source too. I was terrified of being one of them. I dissembled the clock so that I wouldn’t see the hands spin when I would start feeling the virus kick in.
Anyway, I left work and went home. I had to go home with one of those bald men, it was the one that would end up chasing me the whole dream. The German Shepherd was his dog and it was there to keep track of me. I was a prisoner in my own house. This guy was always silent. The dog always looked friendly, but I know he was a Cog Man too.
I eventually went to bed and when I was laying down, I reached up to the top of my head and pulled out a pin with a cog attached to it. It hurt and I saw my head bleeding really bad in the dream. I woke up at that point for a second and saw my dog next to me, panting. The top of my head hurt, but for some reason, I went back to sleep. In the dream, I felt so much better. I got up, and snuck out the window. I snuck away down the street, but the Cog Man’s dog followed me. I snuck into a neighbor’s yard, and when I was creeping through, another dog came out. This was a lab mix. It climbed the tree and stared me down. I ran away, the dogs didn’t chase me, but they barked. That’s when the Cog Man started coming after me. I fled on foot, hitchhiking, on a train, until I came to this little town. I hid out there long enough to get a little job, but he found me again. So, I befriended a man who worked on an airplane and he took me up in his plane to go somewhere else. He gave me new clothes to wear, as I mentioned earlier. As soon as I thought I might be safe and I was trying on clothes, I heard something going on in an upper level of this huge airplane. I quickly gathered my things. I was given a parachute and a little dog, and I was pushed out the airplane. I was utterlessly calm as we hurled towards the Earth. I was talking to this little poodle, even as I released the parachute.
We ended up on an island. This little poodle and I were hidden away in a little cabin by the sea. It wasn’t long until the Cog Man found us again though. He was roaming through this house before I knew it, so I ran off with the little dog and a suitcase. We ran up to a huge, 1800’s looking ship and stowed away on board. The captain knew we were there, but we stayed hidden. That’s when I woke up”.
Office: “To dream of your work office indicates that you cannot seem to leave your work at the office. You are overworked or have too much on your mind”
I can’t argue with that.
Coworker: “To see your coworkers in your dream, highlights aspects of your waking relationship with them, including difficulties/support. It signifies your ambition, struggles and competitive nature. If the coworkers in your dream are not your actual coworkers, then they may pertain to some psychological business that you need to work on”.
That guy was just chitchatting. I guess it could represent the fact that I’m not really close to anyone at work. I love talking with them, but we’re not close. I spend all my time there, and I’m not close to anyone. That’s how work is, and I push them away if they start delving into matters that are too personal.
Bald: “Alternatively, baldness symbolizes humility, purity, and personal sacrifice. You are at a stage in your life where you are confident in fully exposing yourself”.
The Cog Man was bald, maybe he was humility, purity, and personal sacrifice. He was followed me around and I kept running away.
Black: “Black symbolizes the unknown, the subconscious, danger, mystery, darkness, death, mourning, rejection, hate or malice. The color invites you to delve deeper in your subconscious in order to gain a better understanding of yourself. It also signifies a lack of love and lack of support”.
The Cog Man was wearing all black. We’ll just take from this what we will. Honestly, the Cog Man looked really cool, I just didn’t like what he represented in my dream (during the dream). He was focused with a task, one of presumed violence, and he wanted to make me just like him. Maybe he actually symbolized conformity. That’s just a guess.
German Shepherd: “To see a German Shepherd in your dream, highlights your protective instincts and attentiveness to a situation. This is no time for your to be nervous and/or lose control”.
Clock: “To see a clock in your dream signifies the importance of time in some waking situation. You may be feeling some anxiety of not being on top of things. Your mind may be preoccupied with a deadline that you have to meet or some other time-sensitive issue. It is time for you to tread on and speed up your actions”.
The clock was dissembled, but still ticking when the Cog Man went through, It might be a symbol that I’m not taking care of my time-sensitive responsibilities and I don’t want to face it. That’s not stopping it though. I have a feeling the whole dream was about running away from responsiblity. I’m not though. I’m doing my best and I’m failing. Maybe that’s why I dissembled the clock in my dream, so that I couldn’t see how fast I was failing. I ended up taking a winding pin like object out of my head at one point. Maybe that was me trying to pull some of the stress out of myself from all the time-sensitive issues.
Blood: “To see blood in your dream represents life, love, and passion as well as disappointments”.
Taking that pin out made my head bleed in the dream. I guess life, love, and passion flowed out, because I felt pretty good when that pin was out completely. It did literally hurt in the moment though, so maybe I wasn’t supposed to take it out.
Sneaking: “To dream that you are sneaking around indicates that you are feeling ashamed of your actions or are lacking self-confidence in achieving your goals”.
Apparently I don’t feel like getting rid of my anxieties was a good thing.
Dog: “To see a dog in your dream symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success”.
Yellow: “The color yellow has both positive and negative connotations. If the dream is a pleasant one, then the color yellow is symbolic of intellect, energy, agility, happiness, harmony, and wisdom. On the other hand, if the dream is an unpleasant one, then the color represents deceit, disgrace, betrayal, cowardice and sickness. You have a fear or an inability to make a decision or to take action. Your desire to please others is at the risk of sacrificing your own needs and happiness. As a result, you are experiencing many setbacks”.
Tree: “To see bare trees in your dream indicate used up energy. You have put your all into some relationship or project and now you are exhausted. Perhaps you are even feeling depressed”.
Apparently I was faced with the fact that I’m trying to be a responsible adult and it’s just too much for me. It’s disgraceful and I’m exhausted. I know I have to do it, and I’m depressed because I can’t seem to manage.
Chased: “To dream that you are being chased signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is a metaphor for some form of insecurity”.
Airplane: “To see an airplane in your dream indicates that you will overcome your obstacles and rise to a new level of prominence and status. You may experience a higher consciousness, new-found freedom and greater awareness”.
Parachute: “To dream that you are in a parachute represents a protective force over you. You have a sense of security. Alternatively, the dream implies that it is time to bail out of a situation or abandon an old idea or habit”.
Clothes: “To dream of your clothes is symbolic of your public self and how you are perceived. It is indicative of the act you put on in front of others. Clothes are also an indication of your condition and status in life”.
Suitcase: “To see a suitcase in your dream indicates that you are a very composed, together person. You keep your attitudes and behavior in check. Alternatively, a suitcase symbolizes your need for a much needed vacation or break. You need a change of scenery in your life”.
Poodle: “To see a poodle in your dream symbolizes an upper class attitude”.
All right, this one is confusing me, all of this. I’m apparently running away from being an adult. I’m running away from what I see as a normal adult life. I’m ashamed of it. I’m depressed now and I need a break. I see myself as better than this Cog Man, despite the fact that I’m not. I’m not better than anyone. I just don’t like his lifestyle. I don’t want to live that way, but it’s hard to escape to just be myself. That’s what I’m getting from this so far. Let’s see if the ship adds anything to this.
Ship: “To see a ship in your dream denotes that you are exploring aspects of your emotions and subconscious. The state and condition of the ship is indicative of your emotional state”.
It was an old ship, but in perfect condition. It was beautiful, and I felt pretty good in that moment of the dream. It was nice to get away from all my anxieties for a while. Maybe it was childish though.
I guess what this dream meant was that I’m ashamed of being childish. I’m twenty-three years old. I have a job. I’m working on getting back into classes. I need more financial aid so I’m working on that. I almost have my Bachelor’s degree. If I can get enough financial aid together, I can get my degree early next year. I still live like a child though. I live with my mom and her husband. I hate where I live but I can’t afford to move out. I need to take better care of my dog and my rabbit. I have a friend that would like it if I moved in with him. Is that running away? I need to be an adult, but I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want to be myself and I want to be happy. I don’t want to be depressed all the time and entirely stressed. Most of all, I don’t always want to be alone. I like having my space, but I don’t ever have anyone. I barely have time to write. I haven’t worked on my novel in a month. It’s killing me. I’m failing so bad right now. I’m failing at life and I’m only twenty-three. Funny how that works out, isn’t it?
I don’t entirely understand this dream. I’m running away from adult life and I’m trying to find myself. Adult life is always chasing me. Depression, stress, and conformity is always chasing me and I’m just trying to live. I start feeling better about myself, but my life is that of hiding. I don’t understand. Am I ashamed of myself? Am I just terrible at being an adult? I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.
So, that was my dreams. Apparently I’m a sad person. I’m a stressed out, very sad person that isn’t doing very well at living or being confident. I’m having bad dreams because I’m too negative and I’m failing. That explains some things. I still don’t really want the bad dreams though.
It’s 3am now. I have to go to sleep. I have to work all day tomorrow. I’m really tired of this ridiculous schedule. I have so much to do and I’m always at work. I really do need a break. That dream was right. I need to get away from some of this. I can’t escape being an adult, but I need some time for me too. I need time to get things done and work isn’t allowing me that at all. It’s just until the end of August, but this is getting really bad. Also, I think I should start my diet tomorrow. I’m fatter than I normally am. I just look awful. I feel awful, I look awful. I need to fix something and if I can’t get a little time away from work, I can at least stop eating so much popcorn and stop drinking so much pop. Maybe I’ll only drink water while I’m at home too. I don’t have time to get out and exercise. When I’m not at work, I’m trying to figure this scholarship business out and finishing little projects. Work shouldn’t be my whole life. They don’t pay me enough for that. If I was making $10-15 an hour, I wouldn’t be complaining, but I make minimum wage. I’m not making enough to be spending 30+ a week there and not being able to better my life because I’m not home to do things. Summer sucks. I hate it so much.
Sleep well,
ulvenNixie
Reference:
http://dreemmoods.com/
Nixie's Meditations 