Early Morning near the Blue Bell Campground in Custer State Park
This year, my family and I went to Custer State Park for family vacation. We used to do a family vacation every year, but lately we do it every couple of years. In the past, the family consisted of my Auntie Gretters, Grandma, Mom, cousins (Tyler and Samuel), and myself. Our family is bigger now. We’ve added my Mom’s husband and my cousin Tyler’s fiancée, Amba. The vacations have become fewer and further between for a couple of reasons. First of all, Tyler, Samuel, Amba and I are all in our late teens to early twenties. It’s hard to maneuver a family vacation into a dead-end job and school. Also, My Mom, Jerry, and I live significantly further away than we used to. It’s harder for us to make it up north for family vacation because we currently live in Texas. My Grandma technically lives in Iowa and my Aunt, cousins, and soon-to-be cousin-in-law live in Minnesota. We made a point to go to Custer this year for my Grandma. She loved the last vacation we had there, ten years ago, and wanted to go again. We celebrated her 81st birthday while we were there.
I did my best to record some of my spiritual encounters while I was there. As I promised before, I will also add in my best picture from the trip. I took over 500 pictures, but I really will only add the best one. This post will basically be all about the trip. I’m going to focus on the spiritual side of my experience, but there will be more in here than that. I must say this trip was quite interesting. I enjoyed it a bit more in some ways than I did last time. I was certainly a much happier person than I was when we visited ten years ago.
Mom, Jerry, and I left our home in Texas very early, around 5am, on Sunday. My best friend promised to stay the week in the house so I had my room all made up for her. She watched the dogs, bird, rabbit, and plants for us. All Sunday, we drove up towards Colorado. We stopped in Wichita Falls, Childress, and Amarillo Texas for gas. I did my best to sleep through most of that. I don’t like Texas. We stopped at the New Mexico border for pictures. That was my very first time in New Mexico. It was interesting. I didn’t hate driving through it, especially when we got closer to Colorado.
We actually stopped in Raton, New Mexico for dinner. We ate at the Sands Restaurant. I don’t actually like Mexican food, but this place was fantastic. They had fresh ingredients. The chips were hot when they brought them out. My mom got one of the few none Mexican dishes on the menu, which I thought was ironic and hilarious. I’d highly recommend the place, seriously. It was great. We went through the Raton Pass after that. I took a lot of pictures because a friend of mine, who I’ve mentioned before as Reed, told me it was one of the places where Colorado looked as it was supposed to look. It was gorgeous.
We stopped once in Colorado Springs for gas and continued on until we got to Loveland, Colorado. We stayed the night at a Super 8 there. I met Reed that night. We talked and had a wonderful time. The experience was truly memorable and better than I could have hoped for. It was pretty dark out when we met and we went to a small baseball park that was in the area. There was one random duck that seemed to come out of no where while we were talking. I took that as a sign and made note of it.
According to linsdomain.com, “Ducks remind us to drink deeply from the waters of life”. That really seems to fit the situation because meeting Reed was a great experience. I really enjoyed it and everything seemed to line up so well. I was really fantastic.
In any case, we left the next morning and didn’t stop again until we got to the Wyoming Welcome Center. We didn’t actually stop for gas until we got to Torrington and Lusk Wyoming. In Lusk, we also stopped for lunch. We went to the Outpost Café. If I’m frank about it, I didn’t enjoy the food. We suspected that it was cooked long before we got there because it came out really fast. Also, I couldn’t really find anything healthy on the menu. I ended up with an open-faced sandwich with mashed potatoes and gravy. I thought the gravy would be drizzled on the sandwich, but I was wrong. It was drenched in it. The mashed potatoes were kind of cold. Also, I was getting stared at by the men in cowboy hats and the large women in ill-fitting t-shirts all around us. I had no idea what their problem was. The best part of the meal was that when the bill came, we read the ticket and found that Jerry’s “Trucker’s Choice” didn’t look quite right. Replace the “Tr” with an “F” and you’ll know exactly what was on the ticket. That was a really good laugh.
After that, we kept going until we got to Custer State Park in South Dakota. Right off the bat, we got to see prairie dogs. We stayed in the Blue Bell Campground in Cabin 11. The rest of my family stayed in Cabin 12. I took a lot of pictures while we were there because I was excited and it was pretty. I was very disappointed to notice that the Mountain Sheep that we saw very frequently in that area last time we were there weren’t there anymore. They never came around like they used to. I can’t possibly convey how disappointed I was about that.
While I was out taking pictures, I saw a black dragonfly. According to whats-your-sign.com, “Dragonflies carry messages that deal with deeper thought – and they ask that we pay attention to our deeper thoughts and desires”. I paid attention to it and noticed that it landed on a very pretty little rock. After that, it flew away. I picked up the rock and decided to use it for meditation purposes while in the park. The whole time we were there (and I was awake), I had that rock on me. It was an amber tinted clear rock that I can only guess was quartz. It was basically immediate that the spiritual forces at play in that park wanted me to be connected, and I was grateful for it.
We left the park to go to Grand Rapids for supplies. When we got back, the rest of my family finally made it there. There were hugs all around. I took a short walk and went to bed pretty early. I had to smash a spider in the cabin that night, so I was a little freaked out when I went to bed.
I woke up at 5am the next morning. That is extremely early for me, but I was chilly. I couldn’t get back to sleep because Jerry snores very loudly. If you imagine two trains rumbling towards each other filled with angry bears, you might be able to imagine how loud he snores. So, I got up, took a shower, and went for a walk all by myself. It was beautiful out. I took pictures while I explored and got some really amazing early morning shots. When I came across a path that was almost overgrown with grass and had almost a straight shot down a hill, I stopped and took it in for a while. I went down the hill a little and stood there too. I was taking it slow because it rained during the night and the hill was really steep. I opened my chakras while I stood there and asked what I should do. I was told to go further down the hill. I went, taking more pictures as I cautiously eased myself down the rocky slope. I quietly talked to the spirit near me as I went. I asked if there was anything I needed to know, and it told me children were coming. It was very admit that I would take children to this place some day. It said things like soon and very soon, but it didn’t seem certain on when exactly. I was told that it might not be this time or the next, but it would be very soon. I asked who was talking to me, and I was told that this was a spirit of the forest. I inquired about if he was a Manitou, because that was something on my mind, and it said, “Kind of, but not really”. I enjoyed the nature around me for a while. It was absolutely gorgeous. When I went back, I felt the spirit stay behind when I got close to a stream near the cabins. I was told to turn around, so I did. I saw a subtle flash of light near a tree and knew it was the spirit. It was a yellow gold light. Once I was on the hill, headed towards the cabin, I felt Uriel’s familiar energy come forward. He talked with me about the forest spirit. He told me that the forest spirit knew I was going to have kids some day, but there was no way for him to know when. He also told me it wouldn’t hurt to listen to him.
We spent some time around the park that day. We saw bison, turkeys, deer, more prairie dogs, pronghorns, and crows. Later, we drove to Deadwood. It was a long drive, but Grandma really wanted to go and it was her birthday. I took tons of pictures and Mt. Moriah Cemetery because it’s a lovely place. I am in love with cemeteries.
When we got back to Custer State Park, I wondered up to a clearing above out cabin. While I was walking around, I started talking to the Forest Spirit. I don’t remember what we talked about. I think it was just chitchat. I tried to get him to tell me if he was Native American, but he didn’t actually say he was. He just let me go with that. When I decided to head back to my family, he told me not to go yet. He directed me to hike down to the path that I last felt him on. I went back to camp and got new batteries for my camera and went that way immediately. He kept telling me he would show me an animal this time. That kind of scared me. I was out there on a walk by myself, I didn’t really want to see most of the animals that park has to offer while I was all alone. I kept talking to him though. When I came across a trail that I hadn’t been on before, he told me to use it. It lead up a hill, and it was accessible, so I went. When I was up a little further, I noticed that there were people on the path that I would have been on if I continued down my normal route. Basically, Forest Spirit led me away from other people that time. We started talking about Reed. He said that we were very alike in a lot of ways and that it was great that I like him so well. He said that was good because it’s good to feel connected to someone, but it wasn’t going to work out. The spirit insisted that I can’t trust him. He said that a lot. When I started to argue, he changed the subject and asked if I wanted to know my spirit animal while I was in the park. I said yes and he told me to get my camera ready. He was going to show me an animal and tell me my spirit animal. I kept trying to guess the animal, but a fox kept popping up in my mind. I’m not much of fox, but when he got me up to the crest of a hill, he told me that my spirit animal (while there) was a fox. He kept calling me Little Fox after that. I really did argue that one, but he insisted and there was no changing his tune. I turned back around on that hill to leave and kept hearing an animal rustling around in the underbrush. I couldn’t see what it was. I’m willing to bet it was a squirrel, but I was freaked out because it could have been something bigger. I left that area, and Forest Spirit kept telling me to have my camera ready. I looked back twice at that area. The first time I looked back, I saw a flash of light across the path that looked like a fox. The second time I looked back, I saw a black shadow that looked like a fox. I kept walking and Forest Spirit kept telling me to have my camera ready. I was nervous, and at one point, I thought I saw a big, gray bull (like a cow bull) laying along the path. When I gasped and took a step back, I realized it was a downed tree. I could hear the Forest Spirit laughing and that’s when I realized that he was kind of mischievous. When I was walking back to my cabin, he told me that my spirit animal is kind of like a totem animal. It doesn’t have a name like a spirit guide. It wasn’t the same thing. It was something I needed to take note of.
The next day we went to Mt. Rushmore, taking the Needles Highway on the way up. My Aunt’s van overheated on the way up so we had to stop and look at the Cathedral Spires for a while. Tyler and I got to talk there for a little bit. That was nice. We saw Mt. Rushmore. We had some food there. We got separated from the van on the way back so we stopped at Heddy Draw (an overlook picnic area at the park) and went for the Wildlife Loop. We didn’t see any burros or Mountain Sheep there either. We were very disappointed. We did see some elk though. That was awesome. I didn’t get to get a picture of them. They were very high up on a ridge.
When we got back, I went out into the woods to read “American Indian Myths and Legends” (selected and edited by Richard Erdoes and Alfonso Ortiz). I talked to Forest Spirit again, of course. He told me he would show me some real big animals this time. I told him “No thanks” and laughed it off. He directed me to a path by a stream. I picked a story at random, which ended up being “The Transformed Grandmother”. In the middle of reading it, I heard something snort a few times. I looked up and just steps away, there was a deer. It snorted a bit more and walked away from me. I finished the story and got back on the original trail. I climbed the hill ahead of me and read “The Flying Head” at a crossroads of another trail. Forest Spirit had me read aloud, and when I would start to read to myself, he would tell me to speak up. When I finished that story, I walked just a couple steps and saw another deer in the clearing nearby. I watched this deer as I passed and this deer watched me. When she was out of sight, I went back to looking at the trail. I saw the top of the overgrown trail I had been on when I first heard the Forest Spirit, and wanted to look down it. I was thinking about reading a story there and I wanted to see if there were animals in the valley below. I went towards it and when I came close, I saw yet another deer. This one had two fawns with her. She stomped her hooves at me and her babies fled into the trees. When she ran off after them, I figured they went down the hill, so I continued on my journey towards the hill edge. I was almost there when I saw her through the trees again. I figured she might run off again, so I went to the tree-line on the path. She started snorting, so I backed off. There was a recreation cabin nearby, so I went towards that. She kept snorting at me, so I stopped on the path and looked back at her. I saw her coming towards me. As soon as she paused in her steps, I calmly walked away. I went back to the clearing where I saw the second deer and intended to read “The Bear and His Indian Wife” there, but I noticed it was getting dark. I headed back towards my cabin. Before I ascended the hill, the forest spirit told me that I handled the deer situation just fine. He told me there was a miscommunication between animal species. She wanted to protect her babies and I was just taking in nature. I was trying to be respectful in my own weird way. It was an interesting walk. I wish I took my camera.
When I got up on Thursday morning to take a shower, I got all my stuff and took it to the bathroom. While I was in there, I saw a little green bug with six legs and wings. I heard a child-like voice tell me not to kill it. I tried to splash some water on it anyway. I didn’t want it to fly at me. The water didn’t even hit it. When I realized that the water was literally stopping just short of the bug, I stopped. The child-like spirit was happy, and I felt Forest Spirit come in. He said that I could kill the bug, but he was genuinely happy when I told him that I would just be weary of it. We talked a bit longer while I was getting ready for the shower. He said I could come visit in meditation. He said I could see him and talk to him more. He had to stay in the park. He’s a protector of sorts.
We went to Heddy Draw again later that day. I saw a marmot on the way there. It’s the first one I’ve ever seen. I was really excited about that. It was So Cool! We picnicked as a family at Heddy Draw. After that, we went to the Crazy Horse Memorial. I kept looking for something with a fox on it, but I couldn’t find anything. The Memorial is amazing. I think it’s much more impressive than Mt. Rushmore, and it’s not even done yet. Later we went to Custer (the city). We shopped there and ate. I had a Buffalo Burger at the Buglin’ Bull. I hung out with Tyler, Amba, and Samuel a lot that night. It was really wonderful to spend some time with them. I’m pretty sure we offended the poor waiter though. Adam, if you read this, I’m sorry for our behavior. I actually tried a sip of beer there called “Elk Poop”. It was really strong. I don’t drink alcohol so that was mildly significant.
That night, when we got back, I felt like the Forest Spirit was mad at me. I felt like it was because I ate the Buffalo burger, and I was told it was because I was disrespectful about it. I made up for it by giving some of my positive energy to the park. That seemed to make Forest Spirit happier. I noticed that he was still upset though. It took me a while to figure out that it was because I was leaving the next day. As I laid there in bed, I kept hearing him tell me that he didn’t want me to go. He also told me that it wasn’t going to work out with Reed. He said both of those things a lot. I really didn’t want to leave. It was really sad about having to go. I think that I should look into colleges there. If I can get my Master’s Degree somewhere nearby, that would be fantastic.
The next morning, I had to get up once to go to the bathroom at around 3am. I saw a spider in there and avoided killing it. Later, when I woke up again around 8am, I went to take a shower and the spider was still there. There was also a grasshopper in the bathroom. I didn’t see the grasshopper until I was finished showering. I saw the spider a lot, until I was drying off. I was convinced it was in my things, but it wasn’t. I was really freaked out, but at least I didn’t kill it. After that, I packed up my stuff and hung out with my family. Once we were ready to go, we said our good-byes and left. Mom was in tears. I was really upset about leaving them and the park. We saw bison on the way out. That was nice.
On our way through Hot Springs, South Dakota, we got a message from Lindsay that something bad happened to Akela. They were playing ball with her and her crazy, twisted claw got caught on the weeds in the grass. She was hurt and bleeding so they took her to the vet. The vet removed the nail and Akela had a little doggy cast on and some pain pills. I was so scared for her and upset with myself for not being there for her or bringing her with. I cried for a while. I called Lindsay and she told me Akela was doing okay. She had to reassure me a few times that she was okay. I felt so bad for my poor baby.
On our way through Wyoming, it hailed. It was beautiful (even though Mom and Jerry were freaking out). I should have taken that as a sign. We later found a room at the Castle Inn, in Castle Rock, Colorado. I got to meet Reed again. We went out and talked a lot about me possibly moving up there. We couldn’t make it work in a way that made sense to both of us. When he dropped me off, it felt like a pretty official good-bye. When I got back to the room, I spent an hour in the bathroom crying about how the night went and the fact that my dog was hurt. I tried to go to sleep in the bed once. That didn’t work. Jerry was snoring too loud. I took pillows into the bathroom, but kept getting the image of a spider in my head, so I took the pillows back to the bed and left the room. I went to the exercise room in the hotel and worked out for a full episode of Family Guy and a full episode of American Dad. I walked around the hotel, but only for a minute. I went back to the exercise room when some guy wolf-whistled at me from down the hall. When I finally went back to the room, I stayed in the bathroom for a while. I was waiting to get tired. At one point I looked up and saw a big quarter-sized spider on the wall. I thought about leaving her alone. I really did, but I was scared it would get into my things or bite me in the middle of the night. I was also really mad. I was mad at Jerry for being so loud. I was mad at myself for being so attached to Reed. I was mad at Reed for having some mildly irrational expectations for me when it came to moving up. Mostly I was mad and upset that I lost Reed, so I threw a shoe at the spider and smashed it. I have a phobia, but I try not to smash spiders that aren’t in my home. This one was huge and unfortunate enough to meet my rage.
The next day, I moped and pouted all the way to Colorado Springs. We visited Seven Falls. I cheered up there a bit. How could you not be happy when you see fat, little chipmunks and ground squirrels all over the place? I tried to go up the steps, but the metal vibrated and I chickened out. I wasn’t a great person to ride with the rest of the car ride. I kept thinking about Reed, the fact that I didn’t want to go back to Texas, and the fact that I need to be alone for a while. I convinced myself that Reed wouldn’t ever talk to me again, that he didn’t want me around. Later that night, he tried to call me but I didn’t answer. I only had a bar of battery life on my phone. I didn’t cheer up until I started listening to music, but even then I still found myself tearing up on occasion.
When we got home, Lindsay and Austin were there. Akela had her doggy cast off. I was so happy to see her. Lindsay and Austin stayed a while and talked to me. She showed me Akela’s medicine. They talked about how the dogs did. I tried to find Lindsay’s birthday present, which I put in a box in my closet and couldn’t find it. When I promised to find it later, she told me we could see each other on her birthday. She got a new job, I’m off that day, Austin is off that day. We’re going to go see a movie, my treat. After that, she proceeded to tell me that the house freaked her and Austin out a bit. She told me that she heard rattling around coming fro my room. She didn’t stay in there often. My side of the house was noise chaos, apparently and they had a terrible time with the bathroom. Austin kept seeing this squashed, gray creature with long arms while he was in there. Lindsay and I saw the same thing years ago. It was on the other side of the house. They said they had a problem with feeling watched while in the bathroom too. Austin even felt uneasy, which is unusual for him in those kinds of situations. We talked a bit about other things, namely stuff in Austin’s place. I won’t go into that in this blog, there’s too much too explain. He did mention having a protecting spirit though. I wonder if I have one beyond Adam, my guardian angel. I shall look into that. We took a second look in my room for her present, and I found it in my Hope Chest. I’m going to officially give it to her Wednesday.
When they left, I got Akela and I ready for bed. I said a prayer for strength and protection, namely from the gray thing they kept seeing. I have a feeling he’s the same as the black figure that encourages suicidal thoughts around here. I drove him out of the bathroom and out of my room. I forbade him from coming into my room.
Even though I only slept 5 hours last night, I slept well. I had a relaxing morning. On my way to work, I saw a Cooper’s Hawk. According to spiritanimal.info, a “Hawk is the messenger of the spirit world”. He was way pretty. I loved seeing him. It’s so rare to see a hawk for me. I always seem to miss them when someone points them out. When I got to work, one of my favorite managers, Mr. V, was there. When I saw him, a dream I had the night before we went to Crazy Horse bubbled up to the forefront of my memory. I had a dream that Mr. V was a dj-manager at a lodge out in the Black Hills National Forest. He had on one of his regular suits and an ascot. It was either red or purple. It could have been both. He saw me hanging out all aimlessly in the crowd and called me over. He passed me a broom and dustpan and asked me if I minded cleaning up the place a little. He asked like it would be a favor to him, and I was happy to do it. I swept up while he dj’d some sort of birthday party. I didn’t think it was a significant dream, so I never wrote it down in my trip log. I remembered it today though and I was tempted to tell him about it. It is kind of funny after all. I thought that would be a little creepy on my part though. The last thing he probably wants to hear is that I had a dream with him in it while I was on vacation. He told me something pretty funny though.
He came up to the podium where I was standing and leaned up against the pole. He asked me how I was and Alex (a co-worker) teased him about being slick. After a moment or two, Mr. V asked how long I was gone. When I told him it was a week, he told me it felt like a year. He told me he forgot about me, and I made a noise to convey that that was sad and kind of mean. He told me to wait and let him finish. He said that he was going to say that when he forgot, he invented an imaginary version of me in his mind to talk to. I asked him if it was the pole, and he played along. He pretended to have a conversation with the pole about the Space Jam soundtrack. It was hilarious! After that, he told me about some of the jokes I missed while I was away. It was pretty awesome to get to talk to him on my first day back. He’s way funny and a very cool guy. I love talking to him. I wish we could talk outside of work, because I know he’s interesting while he’s at work. I think he would be just as awesome outside of work. I hope he has some inkling about how epic he is as a person. It’s rare to meet some that cool.
Well, it’s late, and I have to work tomorrow. I’m going to meditate about that protector as soon as I can. I know I can’t do it tonight. I’m too tired. I need to go do stuff with my pictures and cuddle Akela.
I wish you all well!
ulvenNixie
References:
http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pages/ducks.htm
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/animal-symbolism-dragonfly.html
http://www.spiritanimal.info/hawk-spirit-animal/
Nixie's Meditations 